Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Kerouac on the Super Bowl

This was something I started, but didn't finish, and will never finish. That's the problem when time-sensitivity meets laziness. After the Super Bowl, I had the idea to write a summary of the game as Jack Kerouac. The basic idea was to occasionally mention brief pieces of the game before going off on odd Kerouac tangents. Here are excerpts of what I wrote:

Trina, a girl he had met in Denver who had the most beautiful amber skin and ocean eyes...

That was the summer that Mac Fitz and I rode the hobo train from Memphis to Takoma, earning nickels by playing Kid Ory on the harmonica and selling old newspapers to coolie workers.

...ooowee, that Negro boy can throw...

...it reminded me of the time Mac Fitz blew through town after getting his discharge from the service. He never told me the whole story, only winking and saying "the only ones who know that are dead, in the can, or soon to be either." He said that a lot. MacGruder Fitzwater was his given name, although he had probably forgotten that. Everyone just called him Mac Fitz. Anyone who called him Fitzy got a knock in the kidneys and a free beer afterwards. He was Irish mostly, but one of his great grandfathers had been half-Seminole. There were traces of it in Mac's dark hair and keen hearing.

rolling, roaring, driving, like De Kooning with a football, dealing in broad strokes and...

The Last One

This is it. The last list I'll ever compile. Ever. I was really proud of this idea, and still think it's pretty funny, but 'twas rejected. So I'm going to stop making lists because clearly, I'm no good at them.

Famous People Who May or May Not Own a Time Machine

Stephen A. Smith
Jeffrey Tambor
Greta Van Susteren
Mos Def
Jerry Bruckheimer
Carlos Mencia
Tim Conway
Michael Crichton
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Thurston Moore
Derek Jeter
Condoleeza Rice
J. J. Redick
David Lynch