Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Forthcoming Broadway Plays, Both Musical and Nonmusical in Nature

To start us off, this piece was rejected twice. I'm not including all of it here, but keep in mind that it was originally much longer. There was also an introductory paragraph, which I'll also skip. The piece was based on the fact that Broadway can't seem to get enough of Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, since the Producers musical starring was a hit and they made a movie out of it, and now Lane and Broderick are in The Odd Couple, also on Broadway. What I wrote was short summaries of upcoming plays and musicals that will be starring Lane and Broderick. Forthwith, the rejected writing (in part):

Two Gentlemen of Verona
Shakespeare must have written his play with these two performers in mind as Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane portray Proteus and Valentine, two friends who must decide which is more important – the women they love, or each other. Shakespeare? More like "Broadwaymagic-speare."

Twelve Angry Men
Some much-needed rewriting turns this dull, dry script into an uproarious slapstick romp as ten of the twelve jurors fall ill and die of food poisoning, leaving the Foreman (Lane) and Juror #8 (Broderick) to reach a verdict on their own while trying to convince the judge (Queen Latifah) that the other jurors are still alive, leading to"Weekend at Bernie's 2"-style hijinks. Words and music by Stephen Sondheim.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
George (Broderick) and Martha (Lane) are a bickering husband and wife who invite a younger couple over for dinner. Hilarity ensues. Picture "The Odd Couple" crossed with "The Birdcage." It's kind of like that. I think.

Our Town
Each performer gives his all as Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick delicately explore life in turn-of-the-century small-town America, and the need for human connections in the face of death's inevitability. Featuring Lane as the Stage Manager, George Gibbs, Mrs. Gibbs, Wally Webb, Mr. Webb, Mrs. Soames, Simon Stimson, Constable Warren and Joe Stoddard; and Broderick as Emily Webb, Mrs. Webb, Dr.Gibbs, Rebecca Gibbs, Howie Newsome, Professor Willard, Joe Crowell Jr., Si Crowell and Sam Craig. Boasts a rousing score by Stephen Sondheim.

The Man Who Came To Dinner
I'm not really sure what this one is about, but it sounds kind of like that movie with Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac. I'm sure if we stick Lane and Broderick in it somewhere it will earn a lot of money.

Silent Musical
Man, Mel Brooks sure made a ton of movies. It was either this or "Dracula: Dead and Loving It." Look, it has Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick in it. That's all I know.


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